The Pittsburgh Press (April 4, 1945)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
Well, I’ve just read about the most wonderful invention since the telephone. It’s a jukebox into which you drop a coin and buy three minutes of silence instead of jumpin’ jive. Now, if the scientists can just figure out how to do that with human beings!
My goodness, if you could drop coins in people and get silence. Dr. Goebbels would be so full of metal that they couldn’t hoist him up to a microphone with a derrick.
Mr. Roosevelt would be over in Congress every day, dropping coins in Southern Democrats. And before elections, candidates would go around clanking like wartime autos.
And wouldn’t it be nice, when you’re having a dinner party and your lesser half begins telling that old one about the time he almost made a hole-in-one, if you could whisper to the maid, “Terese, drop a nickel in you-know-who.”