Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
My goodness, when all these amazing new medicines they’ve been discovering are released to the public, people are going to live forever. My! Wouldn’t it be funny to live long enough to see Mrs. Roosevelt settle down, and a Republican in the White House, and Jack Benny get a motion picture Academy Award and (George says) a Philadelphia baseball team finish in the first division again.
Georgie Jessel and Al Jolson would be in their prime at 400 or 500, and would be marrying sweet young things who hadn’t been out of high school more than 80 or 90 years.
But even if I live to be 500, I’ll still fib about my age. If someone says “How old are you, Gracie?” I’ll just look them right in the eye and say, “Day after tomorrow I’ll be 472.”