Gracie Allen Reporting!

The Pittsburgh Press (December 7, 1944)

Gracie Allen Reporting

By Gracie Allen

Now that German morale is getting to the stage where they can’t remember whether Bismarck was a hero or a herring, along comes Congresswoman Clare Boothe Luce to Europe and confuses them still more. I hear that two Nazi companies surrendered when they got a glimpse of her hat, thinking it was a new secret weapon.

It takes a lot of nerve for such a brilliant and beautiful woman to get that close to the front. Mrs. Luce well may be the Allies’ answer to the V-2. She uses 88mm adjectives, has a short firing fuse, and is liable to explode in any direction. The only trouble is the generals don’t know which way to aim her – the same trouble the Republicans had during the election.

Goodness, if she should happen to run into Secretary Harold L. Ickes, both armies are going to hear a verbal battle that will make the struggle for the Saar Valley look like a maypole dance at Bryn Mawr.