Arabs threaten to kill scribes with kindness
Dive bombers are a pleasure after dietary orgy
By William H. Stoneman
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America will have sports – somewhat curtailed – in ‘43
Football’s outlook now worst of all
Baseball probably will be closest to normal
By Leo H. Petersen, United Press sports editor
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Nippon rule of conduct: Be a dirty fighter –
American Army captain learned Japs’ anything-to-win tactics in a savage ‘friendly’ bout with Jujitsu champion in Tokyo
Demonstration in Tokyo gets real rough; Yankee, almost out, stages great comeback to win
By John E. Tynan
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stargazer fred allen predicts end of that squeaky sanctum door
radio comic turns seer, looks ahead to coming new year with hot air announcers’ stock in trade
by fred allen
fred allen – his typewriter lacks capitals or he doesn’t know what they’re for – is the only person in the world with enough courage to predict what may happen in 1943. he dips in his oar as follows.
this is war! next to war the second largest industry in the country today is viewing with alarm. prognosticators are on the wing. the economist looks up from his crystal ball and the politician peeks out from behind the eight ball to warn us that the offing is fraught with plight.
the businessman is cautioned that any profits showing at the end of the fiscal year will be purely coincidental.
the farmer is ordered to plow over what he formerly plowed under. this year, for the first time, the farmer will have more furrows in his land than he has in his brow.
the motorist is warned that come spring, he won’t have enough rubber left to make a mat for a bird bath, enough gas to remove a grease spot from his cuff or enough oil to lubricate his pince-nez.
every man knows where he is going to stand except the radio listener.
the radio listener is told nothing. what does the future hold for this bewildered denizen of the parlor. in an effort to be of service to the frustrated little men with his hand on his dials, i venture the following predictions:
for 1943, the radio listener can expect:
jack benny advertising a new product… this may start a trend: radio comedians who can’t find new jokes will find new sponsors. mr. benny will have nothing new this year but his commercials.
an eminent etymologist will claim that radio has added 7,239 new words to the english literature. this will not include some choice words coined by listeners.
two hundred and nineteen child actors will return from their christmas vacations to find that their voices have changed. the parents of these children will have to go back to work.
the treasury department will put a ceiling on the $64 question.
a radio announcer, while reading an anti-smoke soapflake commercial, will sneeze over a coast-to-coast network. his sponsor will say something, and it won’t be “gesundheit.”
a politician running for governor in a southern state will play hillbilly songs on his guitar over the radio. the politician will lose the election. if he sings during his campaign, the politician will also lose a lot of friends.
a violinist will play “glow worm.” a blackout warning will interrupt his solo. the violinist will switch to “dark eyes” until the “all-clear” is sounded.
three hollywood stars will broadcast a scene from their new picture, and 5,342,781 listeners will resolve to miss the picture.
some busybody will identify “that lady i seen you with.” several big-name radio comedians will be thrown into defense work.
a prominent announcer will broadcast a war bond plea from a blimp flying over new york city. the balloon will come down, but the announcer’s hot air will keep him suspended over radio city. for the first time in radio history, people will look up to an announcer.
the circus half-man half-woman will appear as a contestant on the battle of sexes program. the half-man half-woman will be his and her own opponent.
a commentator specializing in the “prediction of things to cone” will get his notice unexpectedly. this will prove that, where radio figures are concerned, the sponsor is supreme in “predictions of things to come.”
the raucous moron who yells “you’ll be sorry” at contestants on the take it or leave it quiz will be drafted. once in the army he can yell “you’ll be sorry” at hitler.
a gasoline program will have commercials that will tell you what gasoline is and how it is processed. they may tell you where you can get gasoline… but i doubt it.
the quiz kids will grow up and become information please. messrs. fadiman, kieran, adams and levant will finally attain their second childhood and become the quiz kids.
someone will appeal a case on the goodwill court.
autograph rationing will start. instead of signing their names, radio actors will only give fans their initials.
a new sound man at nbc will oil that squeaky door on the inner sanctum program. the new sound man will be fired.
a war correspondent will predict the outcome of a great naval battle. his prediction will be wrong. the network will arrange to have the battle fought over again to vindicate its war correspondent.
a boy in kokomo, indiana, will swallow a fishing worm to win a 25-cent bet, with the quarter the boy will buy a war stamp. the next evening the boy will be heard on we, the people. the worm will appear at the microphone with the boy. the worm will not be heard.
two bank robbers on “gangbusters” will conserve tires. instead of escaping in an auto, the bandits will make their getaway on pogo sticks.
a popular concert tenor will sing “shortenin’ bread” on a sustaining program. a total of 47,298 listeners will shake their radio sets to get the crums out.
a middleweight boxer will pant “hello, ma, i’ll be right home” into a microphone. the middleweight boxer will then duck around the corner and spend the next three days in a beer joint.
the eddie cantor and red skelton programs will merge. cantor’s new slogan will be “ida dood it.”
b-o will be conquered, and 253,795 jingle writers will be thrown into unemployment.
this looks like a great year for listeners. radio is marching on! on a treadmill!
happy new year!!!
Negro soldiers active in all war theaters
They constitute 10% of Army volunteers and inductees
Washington (UP) – (Dec. 26)
Negroes are being inducted into the Army in the same proportion that Negro Selective Service registrants bear to total registration, the Office of War Information said today.
Answering reports that Negroes were not being inducted in comparable percentages, the OWI said that Negro soldiers are now on active duty where other U.S. troops are stationed, including England, Ireland, North Africa, West Africa, Australia, New Guinea, Hawaii, Alaska and the West Indies.
The OWI said:
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Although Negroes constitute 9.8% of the total population (1940 census), Negro selectees and volunteers constitute 20.1% of all persons inducted up to Oct. 31.
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In nine of the 14 Southern and border states, the percentage inducted exceeded the percentage registered.
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During the 1940-41 period, Negroes constitute 16.1% of the total number of volunteers entering the Army through Selective Service.
High command for radio urged by Norman Corwin
Which immediately starts a wave of squawking that broadcasting is now hogtied
By Harriet Van Horne
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U.S. State Department (December 28, 1942)
851R.01/67
Press Release
December 28, 1942
Statement by the Secretary of State
The selection of General Giraud to his new post is a most fortunate choice and one that will, I am sure, receive the enthusiastic commendation of all. General Giraud is one of the great military commanders of the world today and his recent selection will result in greater unification of all groups and elements behind his military leadership and will go far to insure the common victory with the restoration of French liberty everywhere.
U.S. Navy Department (December 28, 1942)
Communiqué No. 232
South Pacific.
Additional reports have been received of the attack by dive bombers from Guadalcanal Island on a small group of enemy ships south of Vangunu Island in the New Georgia group of the Solomons (previously announced in Navy Department Communiqué No. 231). In addition to the enemy ship of 3,000 tons, which was announced as sunk near Wickham Island, a second enemy ship also was sunk during this attack. The date of the attack was December 26, instead of December 25, as previously reported.
On December 26, Douglas “Dauntless” dive bombers, escorted by fighters, bombed and strafed the airfield at Munda on New Georgia Island. Results were not reported.
On December 27:
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At dawn aerial observers discovered about 30 cargo-laden parachutes on the beach at Tassafaronga on Guadalcanal Island. Army “Airacobra” fighters (Bell P-39) subsequently bombed and strafed the enemy supplies which had been flown in.
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“Dauntless” dive-bombers and “Airacobra” fighters bombed and strafed a Japanese bivouac area northwest of Kokumbona on Guadalcanal Island.
North Pacific.
On December 26 (Washington Time), Army “Lightning” fighters (Lockheed P-38), strafed Japanese shore installations on the island of Kiska. Two “Lightnings” were lost, but the pilot of one was rescued.
The Pittsburgh Press (December 28, 1942)
Stowe: The war isn’t won! Long, bloody road lies ahead of U.S.
Allies just beginning to land telling blows against powerful Axis armies – we’ll win only by fighting and sacrificing – there is no easy way
By Leland Stowe
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Canned, dried, frozen food rationing set
All vegetables and fruits included; don’t hoard, officials plead
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Flying Fortresses blast enemy forces in Tunisia
Four Axis ships sunk, port facilities battered in raids on Bizerte, Sousse and Sfax
By Edward W. Beattie, United Press staff writer
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