Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
HOLLYWOOD – Well, there’s one shortage we could stand and that’s a shortage of Hitler’s. The only thing more mysterious than his disappearance is the number of his reappearances. Now he’s reported in Liechtenstein, Argentina and the Antarctic. I suppose the FBI will check the Liechtenstein story as soon as they can find the place on the Map. I don’t believe the report that Hitler’s on a German ranch in Argentina. Being a cowboy gaucho might have appealed to him once, but George says he’s had one hard fall from the saddle, and doubts if he has nerve enough to climb into another one.
My guess is that Hitler’s in the Antarctic – raising an army of penguins. Those birds already have black and white uniforms, and after a few setting-up exercises should do a pretty god goose step. Also, they’re about the only things left whom Hitler could convince he’s a genius.