Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
HOLLYWOOD – Well, even after they surrendered, those tricky Japanese figured out a way to make us suffer. By telling us the war is over and then waiting for days to make it official, the Japs have forced us into a long celebration that is taxing the strength of many fine Americans.
If it doesn’t stop soon, we’ll be too weak to wave a flag. In fact, one more week-long celebration like this past one and the United States would be too exhausted to defend itself against an invasion of midgets with bows and arrows.
Each morning, citizens get up and stagger out to see if the Armistice has been signed. Finding it hasn’t, with a moan, pitiful but patriotic, they prepare for another day of celebration. And if you think the atomic bomb was frightening, folks, wait till you live through what will probably go down in history as an atomic hangover.