The Pittsburgh Press (February 26, 1946)
Othman: The bum’s rush
By Fred Othman
WASHINGTON – Now I know why I get the bum’s rush when I call upon a big business man; his secretary hypnotizes him into giving me the business.
She could, if she wanted, make him believe that I’m a Missouri cousin of President Truman. Only she doesn’t want. I could give her nylons, or chocolate drops or French perfume, but it wouldn’t help. She’d take my gift. I’d still be a bum.
The business world is a woman’s world and I am the fellow who is positive of it. These ladies at the outer desks even have studied the technique of how to tell a lie and get away with it. A mere man has not got a chance.
What happened was that I bumped into Mrs. Adna C. Lynham, a handsome and persuasive lady. She said her school for secretaries here was celebrating its 25th anniversary today, her 12,000th student was about to graduate, and women in business are making progress. They are indeed. I am scared of ‘em.
Take notes on how to lie, neatly
Mrs. Lynham said if I wasn’t doing anything better, and she doubted it, I could learn something by attending her classes. I said I was not interested in typewriting and shorthand. She said, typewriting and shorthand, hmpf! So I spent the day in her classroom, observing the fair sex being instructed in the art of putting the male, or dumb, sex in its place. The professor at the morning session was Mrs. Elizabeth Hamby. The name of the course, gentlemen, was “Principles of Persuasion.”
I sat in the back row, like a potted palm, while the future secretaries took notes on how to tell a lie, neatly. Mrs. Hamby said they always should tell the boss the truth about everything.
“And when callers are concerned,” she added, “tell the truth as much as you can.”
She said it was bad business to tell visitors the boss was out, because he might step in at that moment, looking for a pair of scissors.
“Then you have three very embarrassed people on your hands, including yourself,” Mrs. Hamby said. “It is much better to say your employer is too busy to see anyone, even if you know he is cutting paper dolls.”
When a caller comes, Mrs. Hamby added, eyeing me, the secretary announces him and indicates by the tone of her voice whether he should get the brush-off, or a soft seat and a good cigar. This is known as influencing the employer. An expert influencer can operate without the influencee knowing it. As for secretaries accepting gifts from callers, that’s okay. Take the man’s candy, but never let it sway you.
Lady knows all the answers
Mrs. Lynham took over the afternoon class for advanced students on how to get a job. The students came in with their hats on as jobhunters, and gentlemen, I was amazed. A man who needs a secretary is trapped; the lady knows all the answers. She carries a sample book of her own work. Her clothes and her makeup she has studied. She knows how to sit go her feet will look graceful. She puts her engagement ring in her purse.
She euchers the male into bringing up the matter of salary; she makes him name the date for her first paycheck. She just looks innocent. Then comes the business of him asking her to lunch.
If the man sits there ogling her, she pleads another engagement. If, however, his attitude seems businesslike, then she has lunch with him. This calls for a snap decision, but a good secretary makes snap decisions constantly. I wish I had more room to tell all, but you get the idea.