The Pittsburgh Press (November 23, 1946)
Millett: Marriage will be happier without ‘dream mates’
Couples must realize ‘other half’ is no more than human being
By Ruth Millett
A University of Indiana sociologist collected information from 373 college students who were either engaged or recently married, and he came up with this bit of information:
Eighty percent of the students interviewed had “dream mates” in mind before becoming married or engaged, and almost 60 percent now believe that their real-life mates come very close to or are identical with their “dream mates.”
It doesn’t take a sociologist to predict that the next five or 10 years are going to be hard on the dewy-eyed 60 percent – and also on their marriage partners. For no real man or woman can – day in and day out – remain identical with a “dream mate.”
So there are bound to be rough times ahead for anybody who is so blinded by love as to think he has married his dream.
First will come the shocking realization that under this circumstance or that Susie or Bill behaves like anything but a “dream mate.” That blow is sure to come to the youngsters who are foolish enough to confuse real human beings, having both good points and weaknesses, with some vague ideal.
Whether or not the marriages turn out happily despite the disappointments depends, of course, on whether or not the marriage partner who thought he married a “dream mate” can ever be reconciled to the idea that he married another human being instead.
So the 60 percent who had “dream mates” and were convinced they had found them aren’t slated for smooth sailing through matrimony.
Life will be far easier for the 20 percent who never cherished “dream mates” and for the other 20 percent who once had “dream mates,” but who didn’t confuse them with the men or women they finally selected as life partners.