The Pittsburgh Press (December 21, 1945)
Millett: Dynamite
Wives interference may ruin marriage
By Ruth Millett
Mrs. Lovina Warren, 22, was held without charge today after admitting that she killed her war her husband during a quarrel over his “going out with the boys Saturday night.”
The tragic ending of that story should be a warning to other wives that “putting her foot down” is the wrong response for the wife whose husband comes back from war determined to keep some of the independence of the “bachelor” existence he knew as a soldier.
A woman can make scenes over her husband’s desire to go out with the boys occasionally but she is playing with dynamite that is likely to blow up her marriage.
However much she resents his determination to keep some of his freedom, quarreling about the subject is the wrong approach.
She has a perfect right to tell him quietly and calmly how she feels about the matter and what it means to her – but if he still insists on his right to leave her at home while he goes out to play with his pals she would be smart to let him have all the freedom he wants.
If she lets him plan some of his evenings alone without any protest and quietly makes her own plans to spend such evenings with friends there is a good chance that he will soon get over wanting to go out without her.
After all, his determination to go out with the boys may be just a protest against too suddenly being pushed back into a social pattern where the wife makes all the plans for entertainment and his wishes aren’t even consulted.
American wives have a bad habit of planning their own and their husbands’ evenings to suit themselves. Otherwise there wouldn’t be so much bridge playing with the neighbors and so many Invitations extended just to pay back so-and-so, who is dull but who “had us to her house last week.”
Going back to that kind of setup is bound to be hard on many men who have been planning their own evenings for several years.
So, if a wife wants to save her marriage, she had better let a man who wants a little freedom have it. Chances are he won’t be too anxious to use it, once he is sure it is his. And even if he does, that shouldn’t spoil a marriage. There is nothing in the marriage contract that says a husband and wife must spend every evening of their lives together.