The Pittsburgh Press (April 7, 1944)
Unfit for training –
Family, friends can help soldier to regain his full mental health
Don’t be tearful, managing, indulgent or dependent; use consideration
By Marjorie Van de Water
This is the last of a series on the Army’s neuropsychiatric soldier cases ands what their relatives, friends and employers can do to help them regain normalcy as they return home with medical discharges.
The mothers, wives, families and friends of men discharged from the Army for neuropsychiatric disability can do a great deal to help them back to full mental health.
The greatest dread of these men when they are in hospitals waiting to go back home is that their families will not be sensible about their disability.
Emotional and fond mothers become frightened and tearful over the “NP disability” diagnosis. Little, it would seem, is known about such mental or emotional crackups. All sorts of superstitions and misinformation are spread about and terrify relatives.
Remember, he’s not yellow
The following facts will help to blast these false notions.
Because a man breaks in combat or in training does not mean he is yellow. He is not a coward. He did not run. He stayed at his post and suffered the consequences, until he could stand no more.
A mental break in the Army is not the fault of the individual; it is not a reflection on the character of the man or his family. It is not due to a “taint.”
A mental illness, even a severe psychosis, is not necessarily permanent. Mental illnesses developing in military service are of shorter duration and more frequently result in recovery than illnesses of civilian life.
Most of the men discharged for NP disability do not require hospital care, although for many, good psychiatric advice is desirable where it is available.
Soul-searching by kin
Many men trace their emotional and nervous difficulties back to the kind of home they had before they went into the Army. Perhaps the folks at home were too dependent upon the soldier, or perhaps stood in the way of his striking out for himself and making his own decisions. or perhaps the home was unhappy due to friction with an uncongenial brother or sister, father or mother. A little soul-searching on the part of the returning soldier’s next of kin might result in changes in the home to make it a more favorable place for getting well.
Here are some specific suggestions to relatives, friends and fellow workers that will help the soldier to get well:
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Don’t gush. Let the soldier know in every way that you are glad to have him home, but try to control the tears and kisses.
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Remember he is a man. Mothers are inclined always to think of their sons as little boys. He may have been a boy when he left home, but after service in the Army, he is a man and wants to be respected as a man. Don’t try to boss him all the time or make his decisions.
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On the other hand, don’t meet him at the front door with a thousand family problems for him to handle. You have existed without him when he was away; get along a little longer until he has time to get his bearings.
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Don’t fuss over him and indulge him. He should not be allowed to dominate the rest of the family or wreck the lives of those who are well. They have their rights, too, and these should be respected. It is not good for the returning soldier – it will not help to restore his health – to make him a pampered pet.
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Don’t have all the neighbors in for parties to show off the returned soldier. He may want to relax for a while in the comfort of being home with just the family around him. Take his wants into consideration, not just what you think he should want.
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Don’t push him into a job. If he wants to rest a while, he probably needs it. Some men want to try themselves out on a job that is considerably below their abilities until they regain confidence. This is wise. Don’t coax him to get something better.
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A few men come back feeling “high” and think they are able to do anything. They are likely to overestimate their strength and abilities and will tackle anything. Such men need a little steadying. And you should stand ready to mop up when the bubble bursts.
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If the returning soldier’s home has not been happy for him, it is best to try to face that fact and do what you can to alleviate the condition. It may be best for him to live away from home. In that case, be sure he does not feel neglected. Let him know you are interested in him and want to do what is best for him. Sometimes it is possible for individuals to get along with relatives with a minimum of friction provided they are not thrown into constant daily contact with them.
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Avoid oversolicitousness. Don’t make an invalid of the returning soldier. Work is the most healing medicine for sick spirits. Let him take part in the work of the home and the community. He wants to do this. Particularly does he want a part in war work. He is out of the Army, but he is still in the fight. Make good use of his services.