The Pittsburgh Press (February 19, 1946)
I DARE SAY —
Stream-of-consciousness
By Florence Fisher Parry
Gentle Reader, do you happen, by any chance, to be a Grandmother? Then of course you spoil your grandbabies! You ruin them for their poor parents! Let them be in your home for a Day and they return to Mama spoiled little brats! You might even be a Grandmother who, during the War and since, has been called upon to make room for the whole Little Flock; and, laboring under the fond delusion that you have not forfeited, thereby, your vested rights in your own home, have made the fatal mistake of Offering Advice. You have used muscles you hadn’t used since your Tennis Days; you have employed enough Tact on Ann to solve all the problems of the UNO; you have turned yourself inside out (quite a calisthenic feat at your age) to keep the campfires burning.
And you have NOT let yourself Go – not once.
But just suppose you DID. Just suppose.
Grandmothers all, is this what would have Come Out?
Is this spoiling baby?
Now that baby needs to be taken out of her crib. She’s slept out. You can’t expect a baby to sleep Forever. It’s time to get her up and dried and fed, that’s why she’s crying. Babies are like little birds; they wake early and begin to chirp. It’s only when they’re ignored and have to wait too long that their chirp turns to a whine…
…Anyway she needs more exercise. She spends too much time in her (1) crib, (2) high-chair, (3) play-pen. She should have more diversion… She’ll never learn to talk if she’s not talked TO. Supposing she WOULD learn to talk, only to find she has nothing to say? … Things should be made fun for children… their meals, their baths, all their little habits. Everything’s a game to them… look how they respond!
…Oh, that baby’s too young to DISCIPLINE! Don’t punish – divert her! It’s so easy to take a baby’s mind off anything and change it to another track. It’ll just make her tough and indifferent to No-No her all the time.
…You wouldn’t put her in her Crib to punish her! But that will only serve to condition her against bed-time! No wonder babies cry so much in their cribs. They’re stuck there too long and often…
…This baby is too cold. This room is too cold. After all, a baby can breathe Just So Much fresh air – and the night air in Pittsburgh is not fresh…
This baby is wet. Unless it is kept warm, dry and fed regularly and given plenty of liquids it’ll never get rid of this cold.
This baby is fretting because it needs to be reassured. No baby whines because of too much attention; the more love you give it the greater its sense of security and the less need it has to cry for it.
It is not good for a baby to get itself all Worked Up crying. The thing to do is to avoid having it get such a habit… Well, supposing it Does mean that you take time out to give it a few loving pats or even pick it up and love it for a few minutes? That’s time well spent. What better way can you employ it?
That baby is thirsty. It’s just like any little animal, its throat gets dry from crying and it may need a drink.
That baby is hungry. Babies get hunger pains, something like little stomach aches, and sometimes it’s wise to take off the edge of their hunger even between meals.
The What-Iffer
…No, I don’t think it’s a good day to take her outside, not while she has this cold. Yes, the sun’s shining all right, but there’s a sharp raw wind and the pavement is slushy and the ground cold and wet. She’s too close to the ground in that Taylor Tot with everything underfoot steaming from dampness.
Why, of course it takes watching when you let a baby out of its playpen to creep or walk about the rooms… What’s wrong with watching? That’s all one gets done with a baby… Yes, I Dare Say I’m an incurable What-Iffer… but it’s safe for a baby to have a What-Iffer around her than a So-Whatter.
For So-Whatters are apt not to throw up a margin of safety around a baby. And you HAVE to have that margin – just like a barricade hedging off danger. When you’re caring for a baby you have to keep thinking – all the time – of what COULD happen, and be on guard, just In Case. You can’t take safety for granted. You can’t take ANYTHING for granted, not while you’re taking care of a baby. WHAT if it should swallow something, choke, drown, be scalded, fall, be injured? WHAT IF?
That’s not Grandmotherish. That’s common sense. That’s not spoiling a child. That’s taking CARE of a child.
I can’t help it, what happens to her after she’s gone from here. But while she’s here she’s going to have all the What-Iffing and In-Casing I can give her.
All right, call it spoiling her… That’s what Grandmothers are for, didn’t you know?
(Or am I wrong, dear Reader Grandmother? And isn’t that the way your Stream-of-Consciousness works, after all?)