The Pittsburgh Press (June 18, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
NEW YORK – Well, I notice that Dr. Hope Eldridge of the Census Bureau says that the ratio of men to women is decreasing but she believes that the scarcity of males will have little effect on husband-hunting except in the imagination.
Goodness, husband-hunting has always been largely a matter of imagination. When she’s young, a girl imagines that she’ll marry a man who’s a combination of Adonis and John D. Rockefeller. When the reality turns out to be a combination of Just Plain Bill and Mr. Micawber, she imagines that this is even better.
In her imagination, she is being pursued by this particular gentleman, and if they’re both using the proper technique, he also imagines that he’s pursuing her – and everyone is happy except the marriage license clerk who ran out of imagination a long time ago and whose feet hurt standing up so much.
The Pittsburgh Press (June 19, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
NEW YORK – My goodness, Sunday morning I was in Los Angeles and Sunday night I arrived in New York! The Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce won’t stand for those Constellations much longer. They don’t want anything leaving California that fast!
And fast is the word, too. I bit off a mouthful of chicken over California, chewed it once over Arizona, twice over New Mexico, and swallowed it as we sighted Kansas City. If this age of speed keeps up there won’t be a man in the country who lives more than an hour or two away from his mother-in-law.
As you probably know, I came East to cover the Joe Louis-Billy Conn match Wednesday night. But, after reading the doctor’s reports on both boys I don’t know whether I’m here to see a prize fight or pay a sick call. As far as the fight itself is concerned, I think it’s a toss-up. Heads, I wear my green faille silk; tails, my white wool crepe.
The Pittsburgh Press (June 24, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
NEW YORK – Well, New York is certainly a far more pleasant place to live in these days than it was when I was last here, during the war.
Hotel rooms then were practically unobtainable, but now you can get a lonely room almost anywhere, and of the five strangers you share it with, three will usually be very nice.
Goodness, in the old days you could not get into a restaurant at all. But yesterday George and I had to wait only a few hours to get into the line that was waiting for tables in a restaurant near our hotel. Promptly at 2 a.m. we were eating our lunch at a lovely little table on the chandelier.
The Pittsburgh Press (June 25, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
NEW YORK – Well, New York girls are as stunning as you’ll find anywhere, but I have it on the best authority that they don’t make the best wives. The authority is Joe Howard, of “I Wonder Who’s Kissing Her Now” fame, who has been married to three New Yorkers and five out-of-towners.
Mr. Howard claims the best wives come from Denver, Helena and Fort Worth, but I think he means that’s where his best wives came from.
Anyway, he’s laid down 16 rules for couples who want to stay happily married.
First, he says, allow the woman to control the purse strings; they’re more sensible than men. The other 15 rules I won’t bother with. Not that I don’t control the purse strings in my house. At least I control the fellow who controls them.
Come to think of it, I don’t know whether anyone should pay any attention to Mr. Howard’s advice. After all, he’s never sat through a feature attraction – only eight short subjects!
The Pittsburgh Press (June 26, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
NEW YORK – Well, one thing I do enjoy in New York is the night-club life. It’s so pleasant drop into a club after the theater and meet all kinds of interesting people. You can’t help but meet them, because two or three hundred of them are usually sitting at the same table with you.
And I was amazed to see how inexpensive night clubs are. The minimum in most of them is only $2.50 and for that you can have either a glass of beer or be allowed to smell a glass which formerly contained bar scotch.
I’m really having a wonderful time here, and the only thing I miss is the California climate. It hasn’t rained one day since I’ve been here, and all this sunshine is becoming monotonous.
The Pittsburgh Press (June 27, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
NEW YORK – After a glimpse of the housing situation here, where you can’t rent an apartment if you have a baby, a cat, a dog or even a loud goldfish, it was mighty refreshing to read about a landlord in Cleveland who loves children so much he presents his tenants with a $25 bond every time they have a baby.
I think it’s just lovely of him, but it seems to me he’s embarked on a rather risky program. Suppose Eddie Cantor and Bing Crosby happen to move into his apartment house one fine day? Why he’d go broke on their floor alone.
Oh, well, it looks to me as if it will be safe to have children in almost any city pretty soon, because the housing situation is bound to ease up. After all, most of the new race tracks, night clubs and dance halls have been completed, and there’ll soon be plenty of material for non-essential buildings like homes.
The Pittsburgh Press (June 28, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
NEW YORK – My goodness, I’ve never made any attempt to forecast fashions before, but I’m sure New York women will be wearing much shorter skirts in the near future. If you want a taxi in this city, you’ve simply got too something radical to attract the driver.
I stood on a street corner for hours yesterday hailing taxis, my prettiest smile upon my lips and a come-hither look in my eyes. But did the taxis come hither? They did not; they went thither. Finally one stopped for me. I won’t say it was the oldest cab in New York, but I’ll bet it’s the only Stanley Steamer now in service. Anyway, the driver opened the door for me and I got in. Then he put the door back on the cab and off we went.
But when I told him my destination, he recognized my voice instantly. “Boy,” he said, “wait’ll I tell the wife about havin’ a radio star in my cab – she’ll die when she hears I been hackin’ for baby snooks–"
The Pittsburgh Press (July 1, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
NEW YORK – When I’m sad, or depressed or feeling low, there’s nothing like a good shopping spree to cheer me up. So the other day, I spent hours in all the big stores here. Not that I was sad or depressed or feeling low when I started – in fact, I felt simply wonderful – but I figure an ounce of prevention can be a lot of fun.
Of course, shopping in New York isn’t like shopping in Los Angeles, where I live. There I can charge things, but here I have to work on George for the cash. Sometimes I start working on him in the morning and by the time he’s shelled out I have to run like mad to get to the store before it closes.
But the other day he was easy. I walked right up to him and asked for $100, and what do you think happened? He handed me $50, which was wonderful because all I wanted was $25. So now I have a stunning new hat, which the salesgirl told me would make even the most beautiful girl in the world look more beautiful. She was right, too; it does.
The Pittsburgh Press (July 2, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
When I got down to the lobby of my hotel I found a big crowd of people waiting on a line. Naturally I got on it, too, hoping there might be butter or nylons or something at the other end, but it turned out to be nothing like that.
It seems a rumor got around that I was leaving New York and everyone was after my room.
It’s too bad I had only a single room because now half the people in line will have to try some place else. If I’d had a double they could have got the whole crowd in, but my hotel has certain standards and it simply won’t let rooms become overcrowded. As soon as a room door won’t close, renting shops.
Anyhow, I certainly enjoyed my visit to New York. I went to all the shows, shopped in all the stores, and took in all the sights.
I even visited Grant’s Tomb. Or wait, now – is it the Polo Grounds, where the New York Giants play? It is so quiet in both places I forget which is which.
The Buffalo News (July 3, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
PITTSBURGH – Well, here I am in the Smoky City. I remember George saying maybe the Pittsburgh baseball team was going on strike and that it would be unhealthy work for the players picketing the National League’s cellar. It seems the Pirates took the cellar away from New York.
Goodness, the people in New York must be pretty mad as even a cellar isn’t too bad to live in these days.
I had heard that Pittsburghers resented the title of the Smoky City but I think the smoke is kind of nice. You see, I was accidentally kissed by a couple of those big rugged Pittsburgh men who seem to have mistaken me for their wives.
I really thought the atmosphere of Pittsburgh was being wafted from roses and gardenias. Anyone who has lived as long as I have in the atmosphere of George’s cigars would.
The Boston Globe (July 4, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
CLEVELAND – Well, I sat up most of the night trying to spell sesquicentennial and finally decided just to say that Cleveland is celebrating its 150th anniversary. They are making an avenue of 150 trees for this event and Mayor Burke let me plant one. I was a little hurt when I learned it was a sapling, but they assured me that was nothing personal.
I attended a luncheon with the mayor, who is a Democrat, and with Mr. Herbert, the Republican candidate for governor. Hard rolls were served but they were perfect gentlemen and didn’t throw any at each other.
Mr. Lowe, manager of the Carter hotel, had my name put in gold letters on the door of the room I was to occupy and I spent hours out in the hallway admiring it. I will spend even more hours in the corridor if that couple from Youngstown doesn’t move out of the room.
The Pittsburgh Press (July 5, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
CLEVELAND – Well, I had a lovely time here, and I met some perfectly lovely people. There was Don Miller, who used to be one of the famous “Four Horsemen” of the Notre Dame football team and is now a United States District Attorney. He still looks very fit and I’m sure that anybody who is caught offside by him will be thrown for a 10-year loss.
Mr. Miller has six children, and I was quite impressed by the size of his family until I met Mrs. Joy Seth Hurd, who has 15.
Large families seem to be the rule here, and I can understand why Ohio, known as the “Mother of Presidents,” has put more men in the White House than any other state.
They just have lots of children and then sit back quietly and play the percentage. Ohio’s seven presidents were all Republicans, back in the distant days when that was fashionable.
The Pittsburgh Press (July 8, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
AKRON, Ohio – Well, here I am in Akron where I caught up with George who has been visiting his brother.
Everybody has been wonderful, including the mayor, who gave us the keys to the city. I really felt selfish taking the keys to a whole city when so many people can’t even get the keys to an apartment.
I visited the three big rubber plants, and it broke my heart to see those great big beautiful tires. I’m afraid I was tempted to smuggle one out, but I knew the guard at the door would spot it under the wrap. And George refused to take advantage of his natural spare tire to hide one under his coat.
I also went up in a Goodyear blimp and was amazed to find that the State of Ohio spreads out almost as far as the City of Los Angeles.
The Pittsburgh Press (July 9, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
DETROIT – Well, I missed the wondering big auto jubilee here, celebrating the history of the motor car. But anyway I ran into a couple of political meetings, an institution which operated on the internal combustion principle long before the auto was invented. I met Mr. Kim Sigler, the Republican candidate for governor, who is rumored to own 100 suits of clothes.
This is the city of autos, so naturally I couldn’t find a taxi at the station. I did see some beautiful new cars though. The manufacturers parade them through the streets on trucks, so people won’t forget what they look like.
The Pittsburgh Press (July 10, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
CHICAGO – My, it’s good to be back in one of my favorite cities again. My plane come into Chicago under a very low ceiling, and judging from the OPA rental situation, a lot of Chicagoans would like to do the same.
I looked in at the famous Pump Room, and saw many of the same faces that greeted me when I covered the national political convention back in 1944. Maybe they’re waiting around for the 1948 conventions.
I ran across a wonderful scoop here. My informants tell me the Chicago River has been running the wrong way for years, draining out of Lake Michigan instead of into it. Goodness, a few years ago, when a man ran the wrong way in a Rose Bowl football game, it was all over the papers. It seems to me that a river doing the same thing is much more newsy.
The Pittsburgh Press (July 11, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
CHICAGO – Well, I visited the famous Merchandise Mart here, which they said was holding its first showings since before the war. I saw iceboxes, electric irons and toasters with a novel feature that hasn’t been seen for years. You can buy them.
Some of the furniture made out of leucite has been flown here from New York. They said it was the first time furnishings had traveled by air, except for the magic carpet.
I ordered some blankets, whose temperature is electronically controlled, whatever that means. Now if someone will just invent an electronically controlled husband who won’t pull the blankets off you at night, they’ll have something.
The Merchandise Mart covers several city blocks and is really several stores in one. Naturally they don’t have a floor-walker. By the time he walked to his post in the morning his carnation would be wilted and he’d be unfit for service.
The Pittsburgh Press (July 12, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
LOUISVILLE – Well, this is Kentucky, the region of the beautiful women, and I really felt that my visit here was like carrying coals to New Castle. But I’m awfully glad I came.
Everyone was most cordial and hospitable. I was guest at dinner at the famous Pendennis Club. It’s very glamorous, partly because of tradition and partly because it served steak.
I attended a rehearsal at the lovely Iroquois amphitheater, where musical shows are given in summer as a civic service. There is a moat full of water between the players and the audience. My goodness, I wish actors were given this protection everywhere.
Louisville is a great tobacco center. I couldn’t but wonder why tobacco smells so fragrant in the warehouses here, and so different in George’s cigars. A tobacco expert asked me how much George paid for his cigars, and when I told him, he said he understood why.
The Pittsburgh Press (July 15, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
ST. LOUIS – Well, here I am in Missouri, President Truman’s home state, and is it hot! The president would be warmer here, even without the OPA, than he is in Washington.
I attended a production of “The Merry Widow” by the Municipal Opera Company in a pleasant open-air theater and I couldn’t help thinking how nice it would be if Congress met outdoors so they could cool off a little, too.
The Mississippi runs right by St. Louis and people tell me it’s one of the longest rivers in the world. It would be the longest if we had it in California.
This city originally was settled by men who wanted beaver hats long before Hollywood was settled by women who wanted mink coats. They make trolley cars here, too, and I am thinking of ordering one. I bet we would get it long before the auto we have on order arrives.