Youngstown Vindicator (June 14, 1945)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
Jack Benny, Edgar Bergen and Fibber McGee and Molly notwithstanding, the Tokyo radio still has the funniest programs on the air. They have just announced that it is still not too late for the United States to surrender.
I guess, according to Japanese reasoning, the victorious Germans have imprisoned the Russians in Berlin, the Americans are retreating in the direction of Tokyo and the Japanese fleet is holding a victory celebration at the bottom of the ocean.
Tokyo radio has also announced that they were organizing bow-and-arrow and jujitsu units to fight against us. George thinks we will really have something to worry abut when they send those old Japanese vaudeville tumblers against us. But I’ve got it figured out all our boys have to do is start applauding. Then when the Japs leap up to take their bows – bang!