The Pittsburgh Press (October 18, 1940)
CANDIDLY SPEAKING —
…
When Courtesy Counts, Men Have Edge
…
By Maxine Garrison
Much as it pains me to admit it, I’m beginning to think that men have a slight edge on women when it comes to plain, everyday courtesy. Not that they’re Lord Chesterfields. The poor dears would be laughed out of existence if they so much as attempted old-time gallantry.
But watch for yourself sometime and I think you’ll see what I mean. Watch especially in restaurants, in the theater, on the street, in all the places where crowds jostle about.
Women appear to be thoughtless of others when men retain the instinct to give the other fellow at least the same chance they have themselves.
Notice the stream of people entering the theaters before curtain time. Progress is bound to be slow, with the bottleneck of traffic where tickets are taken. Women shove push and trample apparently with some pointless idea of getting in first. Men are more willing to take their turn.
I have seen women try to shove in ahead of someone already in line. They’d have managed it too, if the men with them hadn’t pulled them back, saying, “Just a minute, now. There’s no need to hurry, and they were here before you were.”
Men Preferred
It is notorious that waitresses and waiters prefer men patrons far above women. It has caused many a gripe among the women-folk, and you can hardly blame them for being sore.
If they watched the conduct of their own kind, they might find it a little easier to understand. Women act as if waitresses were robots. Whether the snub is deliberate or not, it is certainly ill-mannered. They daily over orders, change their minds a dozen times, and give a fish-wife oration if the least little thing goes wrong. Then, to add insult to injury, they leave tips so small as to be scarcely perceptible. If they leave tips at all, that is.
Someone told me of seeing a party of 12 women having dinner at one table in a restaurant. When they left, the emptied table revealed one lone nickel left as a tip.
Men kid waitresses along, and learn to greet waiters by name. They seldom get offensively fresh, either; it’s just an easy-going manner which indicates a social ease women seldom possess. They order quickly and decisively. And they are generous with tips, counting them in with the cost of the meals, instead of doling them out, grudgingly.
She ‘Owns’ Sidewalk
On the street a man watches where he’s going, and tries to avoid bumping into others. A woman walks as if she owns the sidewalk, and glares when she trips into someone. If a man meets a friend on the street, he moves to one side of the walk if he wants to chat a minute. Women stop plumb in the middle of the sidewalk, and dare anyone to challenge their right to disrupt traffic. Men are more apt than women to stand back while street car passengers alight, instead of rushing up the steps with no regard for the people who want t get out.
There are exceptions on both sides, but, in general, that seems to me to be the way public conduct lines up. Maybe it’s a matter of training, but surely women were given pretty much the same bringing-up as men. Women seem to save their manners for fancy little social gatherings, when they go around making polite noises all over the place. Men may not have an array of party manners, but they’ve got a spirit of “live and let live” that is real courtesy.
And, please, let’s not mention this business of relinquishing one’s seat on the street car in favor of the weaker sex. They don’t seem to have earned such thoughtfulness.