The Pittsburgh Press (April 16, 1941)
CANDIDLY SPEAKING —
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Some men’s ego hurt by working wife
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By Maxine Garrison
Is it a disgrace for a man to have a wife who works?
If the husband thinks so, it is a disgrace, beyond any doubt!
It’s a plain case of thinking makes it so (Before we go any further, it might be well to explain that “works” in this case means, “has a job outside her home,” no matter what Webster says).
The male ego is supposed to be tremendous. A man’s desire to be known as the sole financial support of his family is supposed to be important evidence of that ego.
Anyone looking on might be justified, however, in assuming exactly the opposite to be true. The way some men howl if the little woman wants to earn an honest dollar would seem to indicate that their poor egos can’t stand the competition.
He would rather get along without the extra money, much as it may be needed, than let himself think that other people think he can’t support his wife. That’s what it amounts to. Actually, other people probably wouldn’t give it a second thought.
Jealousy may be origin
If anyone did make the crack he fears, it would most likely have its origin in jealousy.
I have been told that this little quirk is a fundamental part of the masculine character. That if any woman wants to be happy, or even to have mere peace at home, shwe must bow down to it. That she must let her husband appear to be the absolute boss, whatever behind-the-scenes managing she may be able to out across.
That may be true. Yet I have seen men – and I’m sure you have, too – who have had working wives and yet have managed to retain their self-respect and their status as head of the family. Without too great a struggle, too.
The premise of such a man seems to be that if it makes the wife happy to work outside the home, let her do it. If the money isn’t desperately needed, he acts indulgently toward her “hobby.” If the money fills an emergency bill, he is thankful to her for doing everything she can.
Does that make him out to be a spineless jellyfish? I hardly think so. He looks, rather, like a man with consideration, tact and strength. His self-confidence doesn’t have to be bolstered up by the knowledge that he is the only breadwinner in his bailiwick.
Work isn’t objectionable
It isn’t that a man minds having his wife work. Not at all. She can cook, clean, scrub, wash, iron, sew, decorate, entertain and garden until she is blue in the face and has worn her fingers down to the well-known bone. All that he considers part of the game.
Some women like that sort of work best. Most women find it pleasant enough to manage a house if they’re plenty of help.
Some families are so situated that they need not worry about the financial angle. Others have to consider every penny spent.
Some women prefer office or professional work to housework and are far more efficient at the former. They may do so, and still have the well-being of their marriage and home foremost in their minds.
There are as many different slants as there are individuals, and you can’t lay down hard and fast rules. It is something each husband and wife have to figure out for themselves, and plan their have accordingly.
The man who pigheadedly says that it’s a disgrace to have a wife who works (meaning outside the home), that no wife of his is ever going to bring home a paycheck, is probably more to be pitied than censured when you get right down to cases. He’d get around a lot easier if he could just throw away that knotty club he inherited from his caveman ancestors. It’s no help in this day and age.