Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
HOLLYWOOD – When our soldiers went abroad, the government gave them little dictionaries to help them get along in strange countries. Now that they’re beginning to come back, I think they should be issued a little book to help them understand things here. For instance:
“Don’t you know there’s a war on?” – stock phrase used by waiters, meaning “there isn’t any butter.” Also used by clerks too lazy to find what you ask for. Then there’s a sign which you soldiers will see frequently which says “sorry, no cigarettes.” Properly interpreted, this means “if we know you, you can have as pack from under the counter.”
Another sign, which may be very misleading to you boys who have been away, reads “butcher shop.” This simply identifies an establishment whose proprietor has been too busy to change the sign to “fish.”