The Pittsburgh Press (January 28, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
HOLLYWOOD – Well, lots of people are saying that it’s too bad we sorties of today don’t have the hardy pioneer spirit of our forefathers. They point out that strikes and shortages wouldn’t bother us a bit if we pitched in and made the things that are lacking with our own hands. I’ve seen them get so excited about this that they loosen their collars – made in Boston, roll up the sleeves of their shirts – made in Chicago, and pound on their furniture – made in Grand Rapids.
I’ve tried this pioneer thing but, goodness, I frankly admit that my efforts haven’t turned out so well. The butter I tried to churn was sort of a cross between a milkshake with lumps and a polish for yellow shoes. And if George only wore the clothes, I made on a spinning wheel he’d be cold – and arrested.
The Pittsburgh Press (January 29, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
HOLLYWOOD – My goodness, I certainly keep meeting the handsomest governors. And luckily, they seem to be distributed all across the country, too. There was Gov. Tobin of Massachusetts for the East, Gov. Green of Illinois representing the Middle West, and now I just met Gov. Wallgren of Washington. He’s the first political man I ever met whose eyelashes are longer than his speeches.
Meting men like Gov. Wallgren in politics makes you think things can’t be so bad after all. There’s an air of confidence and assurance about him. But then I guess that’s because he doesn’t have to run again until 1948.
And believe me, the governor is very brave, too. Anyone is who comes visiting in Southern California and then brags about the wonderful scenery back in his home state.
The Pittsburgh Press (January 30, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
HOLLYWOOD – My goodness, every time I pick up a paper, I see that another airplane speed record has been broken. An Army flier has just crossed the continent in a little more than four hours.
It’s possible now for a man to leave San Francisco by plane and be at the place where he lives in Los Angeles in 45 minutes. Isn’t that remarkable? Imagine anyone having a place to live in Los Angeles!
We’re living in the air age, all right! Of course, Congress has been living in it for years, but the rest of us have just got around to it!
Soon it will be possible for people to live in Los Angeles and fly to work in Denver, Boston, Buffalo or any other place. Our Chamber of Commerce already is investigating the possibilities, and I’m sure that before long they will suggest we change the name of the country to the United States of Los Angeles.
The Boston Globe (January 31, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
HOLLYWOOD – Well, now Army scientists have contacted the moon by radar, and if the people there are smart, they’ll pretend they’re not at home. There is also talk of space ships making excursions to the planets pretty soon, and it begins to look as though Lana Turner, Betty Grable and a certain Miss Allen are going to have other celestial bodies for competition.
But goodness, I hope the countries of the earth don’t get into any quarrels claiming the planets as colonies now. If Hitler had come along a few years later, he undoubtedly would have screamed that the moon and Mars were pushing the master race too far, and something would have to be done about it.
Gracious, there’s no limit to the wonders of transportation. Rockets, jet planes, spaceships – why, someday there may even be new autos!
The Pittsburgh Press (February 1, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
HOLLYWOOD – Well, I see that science is now going to bring out some plastic furniture that we won’t have to dust because dust can’t settle on it. As nearly as I can understand it – which is not very nearly – a chair will give out positive charges, repelling dust, which gives off negative charges.
That’s all very well, but it sounds a little dangerous to me. Take my sister Bessie, who, according to George, always has had a very negative personality. If she sits in this positive chair, it’s liable to repel her clear across the room. Personally, I’d rather have her a little dusty.
And, goodness! I don’t want to have any chairs around shooting off charges, anyway. All I want is a quiet place to sit, and I’ll take care of the dust myself.
The Pittsburgh Press (February 4, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
I used to envy the President because he had a place like the White House to live. My friends envy anyone who has any place to live. But that was before I found out the poor President has 531 landlords.
When he wanted a little million, 650-dollar addition to his home, who did he have to ask for it? Congress! Not only did they say “no!” like most landlords, but some of them were so sore they wanted to cut his salary, too. At least my landlord couldn’t do that to me.
I certainly wouldn’t want to live in a place where you have to get an act of Congress to have a leaky faucet fixed. Come to think of it, even if Mr. Truman did get one, where on earth would he find a plumber anyhow?
The Pittsburgh Press (February 5, 1946)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
Did you see where a Los Angeles man is suing his wife for divorce because she charged him $5 a kiss? She says she did it to discourage him ad I’ll bet it worked. Can you imagine the poor man coming home from work with love in his heart and only 80 cents in his pocket?
There might be possibilities in putting other phases of domestic life on a cash-and-carry basis, though. For instance, a wife could charge her husband $2 for getting his breakfast, $1 for making his bed, or 18½ cents an hour for not talking. Not having his mother-in-law visit them might break him, but it might be worth it.
But charging your husband for kisses – good heavens! That’s ridiculous. Why, if I charged George $5 a kiss, he’d owe me darn near $10 a week!