Youngstown Vindicator (July 13, 1945)
Gracie Allen Reporting
By Gracie Allen
A Swedish scientist says he believes that wars are caused by the effect of sunspots on people. Well! Can’t you just see Hermann Goering standing up in the war criminals’ court as though Danish butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth, saying: “Not guilty on account of sunspots!” And Hirohito would have even a better defense. He claims descent from the sun goddess, and could argue that he was simply a victim of heredity.
If you ask me, this whole idea of sunspots affecting people is pretty dangerous. Just think, your husband could walk right up to a strange girl and kiss her, and then calmly blame the whole thing on sunspots. Still, it could work to advantage, too. Girls, we could come home with a new coat or a couple of hats and say “I’m sorry, dear, but I simply couldn’t help myself. It was very sunspotty out today.”